When you parent a child with disabilities, there is so much mommy guilt.
The list of my failures and shortcomings as it relates to acting as a human pancreas 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year are long. And, the guilt is compounded in direct relation to the action or inaction that caused the guilt in the first place!
No one prepared me, though,for the guilt I would experience as I learn to balance the medical needs of Kinsley while cultivate and grow in relationship with my second beautiful and precious daughter, Kaitlin.
Kaitlin is the unsung hero, here, folks!
As our family manages this serious medical condition, we are often forced to take detours, pauses, mini-vacations, or whatever you want to call it from "life" all the time.
All the while, Kaitlin is along for the ride. And, she is the best and most loving companion for Kinsley. Yesterday, pictures I took exactly a year ago popped up on my phone. "Rediscover this day" was the title. I wanted to cry.
It may not be obvious, initially, but these pictures depict what it was like every......single.......time... Kinsley needed an injection every day for months. Kinsley would scream, hit, hide, and bargain. It was beyond emotionally painful for us to inflict this pain on Kinsley, for her own good, no less.
Kaitlin was an observant and concerned sister throughout these daily occurrences. Kaitlin would offer to take the shot for Kinsley. Kaitlin would help Kinsley hide. Kaitlin would hold Kinsley's hand. Kaitlin would attempt, in her two year old speaking skills, to convince Kinsley to cooperate.
"It's okay Kinswey..........."
I am so proud of Kinsley and I thank the Lord all the time for helping her overcome such adversity this past year. Kinsley is my T1 warrior and she is fierce. But, I am equally as proud of Kaitlin and I don't tell her that often enough. Kaitlin is just as forceful and just as strong.
I love my Kaitlin Mae. It is my hope and prayer that these complex and difficult experiences will develop, within Kaitlin, a certain empathy, cooperation, altruism, and maturity that no textbook or training class can ever possibly teach.
And, in fact, I think it already has.
