The Character Behind the Character

My Sensitive, Sweet, and Rather Silly Kinsley

You wouldn't know this by looking at Kinsley's picture above (on the left with a Maggie comparison, on the right 😊) but just hours before that picture was taken, Kinsley had a severe hypoglycemic episode.

It was such an exciting and joyous morning in the Munson household, too.  Kinsley and I had tirelessly worked on her "gift for the King" for our homeschool cooperative Christmas program.  Kinsley had practiced her lines (in Spanish) for nearly two months.  She was ready and so excited!

That morning, we were in a rush to get to church and prepare for the program.  We ate "on the go" and unbeknownst to me, Kinsley hadn't finished the breakfast she had been bolused for (given insulin).  Normally, I watch every bite she eats like a hawk (and mentally calculate the carbohydrate total in my head) in an attempt to prevent her blood sugar from rising or falling too fast.  

But, the second I arrived at church, my attention was diverted to program-related questions and when Kinsley grabbed my attention a bit later, I just assumed she had finished her breakfast.  

Well, she hadn't.  

Anyway, as we grew closer to the program, Kinsley's continuous glucose monitor (CGM) started to alert me that Kinsley's blood sugar was rapidly falling.  (Double arrows down which isn't good.)  In a matter of minutes, her blood sugar fell over 50 points.  And, at one point, her blood sugar read 58.  58!  That is dangerously low.

The next half hour was a blur.  I was trying to doctor her blood sugar up with copious amounts of carbohydrates and mentally determine if the program needed to go on without Kinsley's gift presentation.  I knew Kinsley would be devastated if I pulled her from the program but I suspected that Kinsley's blood sugar was falling not only from breakfast but also a bad case of the nerves.

By the time it was Kinsley's turn to share her gift, I decided to let her proceed.  Her blood sugar was in an acceptable range just moments before and my concern shifted to a rapid blood sugar rise due to a "rebound high."  All things considered, her presentation was perfect and I was so proud of her composure despite the invisible battle she was fighting just moments before.

She demonstrated, in that brief but brave moment, how amazingly strong and courageous she truly is.  To the audience, everything was normal though.  You wouldn't know that, moments before, Kinsley was on the verge of passing out.  

The entire way home from church, I cried, though.  Diabetes won that morning.  I felt so guilty for not being more attentive.  I felt sick thinking about alternate endings.  And, I left wondering if I made the wrong decision in allowing her to go up to the microphone and share her gift knowing that she was still recovering from a blood sugar of 58.

As I've learned, there is no use concentrating on these questions.  If I allowed myself to focus on these questions too long each day, I would be immobilized by fear.  

Within a few hours, Kinsley fully regained her strength and her blood sugar recovered.  She made that episode look so easy!  If that was me, I'd be in bed the rest of the day.  But, she went back to her happy- go-lucky self who has the most infectious laugh and sincere smile in the world.  She is my T1D warrior!

It is in these moments, I am reminded how fragile Kinsley is and how desperately we need a cure.   While we have come such a long way, we have so much further to go.  

Kinsley is silly.  She can be so sensitive.  And, she is so stinkin' sweet!  

She is the "character behind the character" and it is my hope that this series will delight children with type one diabetes for years to come!